There’s a common saying: “Life depends on how you set your heart.”
It’s true. Even the challenges between spouses, issues among siblings, and the tangled complexities of daily life can suddenly seem to unravel when we change our attitude. Once the heart shifts, we often find that the problems resolve more easily than expected.

One mother-in-law welcomed a new daughter-in-law into the family. But not long after, she found herself in deep distress. The reason? The young bride had no interest or experience in running a household, and she showed little understanding of how to show proper respect to her elders. Whether inside the home or out in public, everything about her rubbed the mother-in-law the wrong way. Eventually, unable to bear it any longer, she scolded her daughter-in-law and tried hard to correct her manners—but her efforts only led to conflict and tension in the home.

Then one day, the mother-in-law realized she was sinning before God by harboring such resentment. She decided to change her heart and approach. Letting go of all her expectations for her daughter-in-law, she made an effort to find reasons to be thankful. She even started writing them down. At first, nothing came to mind. Everything still felt wrong, frustrating, or unpleasant. But as she pondered more deeply, small things began to emerge.

She reflected that if her son were still single and living alone, she would be the one caring for him—and it would break her heart to see him lonely. In the past, her son had come home from work and gone straight to his room without a word. But now, she could overhear him talking to his wife about his day—what he ate, who he met, what happened. Through those conversations, she finally learned about her son’s daily life. Watching him come home with a smile, happy to see his wife, she began to feel grateful. She thought, “Even if she’s not good at housework and lacks manners, could I provide him with the happiness she brings him?” That became her conclusion.

This wise mother-in-law was overjoyed that, by quickly changing her heart, not only did she stop sinning before God, but her son and daughter-in-law found happiness, and peace returned to her home. Smiling, she said,
“Once I made up my mind to love, the door of love opened.”

Indeed, the way we perceive and respond to life’s challenges depends on the attitude of our heart. That attitude shapes our perspective, our emotions, and the outcomes of our lives. If we approach each moment with care and sincerity—as if walking on thin ice—then peace and happiness are within reach. But even those who have lived balanced and devoted lives can, with a single mistaken choice of heart, cause irreparable harm to themselves and their families.

French novelist Françoise Sagan, who captivated young people in the 1950s and 60s with Bonjour Tristesse (Hello Sadness), was recently tried for drug use. Shockingly, she claimed:
“As long as I don’t hurt others, I have the right to destroy myself.”
This left her long-time fans heartbroken. We may not fully understand why she chose such a destructive mindset, but we can only pray for her—hoping her hardened heart might someday soften.

I once read an inspiring article about a young man without arms who crossed the Arctic with a sled strapped around his neck. He dared to attempt something even the physically able might hesitate to do—all because he set his heart on it. He showed us that what binds a person is not so much the body, but the limitations of the heart.

Albert Max, an American soldier wounded in the Korean War, lost one eye and was discharged as a disabled veteran. One day, while visiting an orphanage and nursing home in Korea, he was deeply moved. He decided to live on only the bare minimum of his pension and use the rest to help Korean orphans and the elderly. He lived so modestly that he mended his sneakers instead of buying new ones. His heartfelt commitment to serve the marginalized became his life’s mission, connecting them to the life of Christ.

Truly, setting our hearts right may seem simple—but it is one of life’s greatest challenges. The direction of our hearts can lead us either toward life or toward destruction.

James 3:17 tells us:
“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

We are reminded of the mother-in-law who said,
“Once I made up my mind to love, the door of love opened.”
And we realize that proper heart-setting is not possible unless our spirits are under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

When someone says, “I absolutely can’t do that!” it’s often because they haven’t yet decided to do it in their heart. But in life, once we make up our minds, the impossible often becomes possible.