Dear Abby: I want to ask your opinion—whether it is I who am wrong, or my wife. In our home, my wife and I live together with two dogs. At night, these dogs climb onto our bed and sleep with us. Because they snore, I am always deprived of sleep. Yet my wife insists that the dogs snoring is “adorably cute,” while when I snore, she complains that it is noisy. What is even more outrageous is that next month we are going on vacation. My wife plans to fly ahead, leaving me to drive the dogs 1,200 miles to our summer house. What am I to do? — Exasperated Husband

Dear Exasperated: You’re in real trouble! Before long, you may even be banished from the bed itself. You’ve given up far too much of your space. It’s not too late—find your own space quickly. — Abby

Not long ago, I came across this humorous yet sobering lament from a husband in the Dear Abby column. Every couple dreams and longs for a lifetime of happiness in marriage. But how many truly achieve such a dream in its fullness?

When my husband and I married, we too were startled by how different we were. Raised under strict parents, my husband had discipline, order, and tidiness ingrained in him. I, on the other hand, grew up freely under generous and easygoing parents—reckless, one might say. I am an absolute realist, while my husband constantly pursues an unseen, ideal world. Living together 24 hours a day, 365 days a year was, in truth, no easy task.

Yet even with our differing perspectives, we took as our family motto the words of Sister Jumaebun: “The closer the relationship, the more distance must be kept between personalities.” After more than thirty years of marriage, we now find ourselves laughing at how much we have come to resemble each other.

A bright society and future begin with the genuine love of married couples. Discord between husband and wife breeds unhappiness across society, leaving deep scars and stains upon life itself. According to U.S. statistics (Domestic Violence Shelter for Women, Children & Men), every nine seconds a woman is beaten by her spouse, and more than twelve million live under abuse. Domestic strife is the leading cause of women becoming homeless, and 40% of abused women report being beaten during pregnancy. Marital discord devastates the mind, body, and spirit, and at its root is discord within oneself. The longer we live together, the more we realize that marriage is a single organism—each respecting the other’s personality and work, and acknowledging each other’s space.

Just as we regard the church as holy, so too marriage holds the sacred mystery of love. Two persons who love and respect each other, living as one heart, radiate brightness and freedom. If I am unhappy in my marriage now, failing to give my best love, how could I ever be qualified as the Bride of Christ in heaven? The lament of that exasperated husband pierces my own heart.