One of Autobiography requirement of TH501-01, Drew Theological School on December 8, 1982

First and foremost, I give thanks to God for guiding my heart and life’s journey as I write my autobiography for submission in Formation I at Drew Theological School. This reflective process has allowed me to recognize God’s presence throughout my personal and spiritual development.

As I have shared in previous autobiographical accounts, my background has shaped my theological perspective in profound ways. Being the second son in my family instilled in me a sense of modesty, though I struggled with feelings of inferiority. The concept of humility was deeply familiar to me, but the emotional distance in my familial relationships left me yearning for love. Growing up in the aftermath of the Korean War, I experienced the hardships of a nation in recovery, which fueled my desire for justice and transformation—both personal and societal.

For me, theology is meaningful only when it engages with the realities of life. Before we can engage in theology (Theo-logy), we must first seek to understand God. Before discussing Christology, we must encounter Jesus Christ personally. Before articulating perspectives on salvation, we must experience it in our own lives. Theology is not a speculative exercise but a dialogue between Scripture (text) and lived experience (context). It is through this dynamic interaction that theology takes shape and finds its purpose.

I have a deep love for the suffering people of Korea, America, and the world. Yet, like Moses and St. Paul, I recognize the necessity of enduring seasons of suffering and spiritual training. Since beginning my journey at Drew, I have contemplated the path to Christian perfection, which, for me, is an integration of my life experiences, biblical history, and theological study.

I perceive my faith as progressing through three continuous stages. These stages are cyclical and will remain so until the day of redemption. The first stage is self-knowledge, gained through humility. The second stage is understanding others by loving and empathizing with them. The third stage is the pursuit of divine truth through contemplation. The grace of God is the catalyst for this journey, sustaining my hope as I await the fulfillment of His kingdom.

Humility, as the foundation of self-knowledge, involves deep self-examination. True humility enables one to see oneself clearly, for without humility, no one can fully understand themselves. This humility is essential to faith, as God reveals Himself to the humble while remaining hidden from the proud. My own journey toward humility was shaped by my life experiences. Though I grew up in a Christian environment—attending Sunday school, studying in seminary, and aspiring to be a devoted believer—I was, in truth, a “whitewashed wall” until I experienced a profound transformation.

The turning point in my life occurred after the Kwangju Uprising, when I decided to emigrate to the United States. Like the Israelites fleeing Egypt, I escaped the oppressive hand of a military regime in search of hope. This exodus marked a second life for me, one that required surrendering my pride and embracing God’s plan. Through obedience, I accepted this journey as an opportunity for ministry. This transformation was my metanoia, a radical turning point in my faith:

“I remember that at that time I was separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Korea, and a stranger to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which He loved me, even when I was dead through my trespasses, made me alive together with Christ (by grace I have been saved) and raised me up with Him.” (Ephesians 2:12, 4-6)

The second stage of my faith journey is the call to love others and share in their suffering. This active love is sustained by the imperative of God’s love. My past involvement in community organization, particularly in the face of injustice in my homeland, propelled me toward a faith that requires action. Love compels me to do God’s will, even at personal cost:

“Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

This journey through love and suffering parallels the Israelites’ passage through the wilderness before entering the Promised Land. I recognize my role in stewardship (diakonia) and God’s mission (Missio Dei) as my lifelong calling. My own strength is insufficient, but God’s grace sustains me.

Love ultimately leads to contemplation—the third step toward Christian perfection. Love makes faith tangible and directs me toward the ultimate truth: God Himself. My contemplative journey deepened through a mystical encounter with God, as reflected in 2 Timothy 4:6-8:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved His appearing.”

Two months ago, I preached about four types of Christians. The first turns away from the light and remains in Egypt. The second faces the light but remains in the wilderness. The third and fourth stand near the light; yet, if the fourth turns away, they risk casting a great shadow over the world. This realization deeply impacted me, reminding me that a pastor’s faith is not static but moves fluidly among these stages of spiritual growth.

I was reminded of a lesson from my Formation I course: “Each morning, I must gather the fragmented parts of myself and reorganize them.” This discipline renews my spiritual vision, as reflected in Ephesians 4:23: “Be renewed in the spirit of your mind.” True renewal allows me to see old things with fresh eyes and recognize God’s work in all aspects of life.

On November 23, 1982, in the Rose Library, I suddenly grasped a profound truth: God is light, and we are merely reflections of Him in the world. A person standing close to the light must be transparent and purified, lest they cast shadows. This purification is the work of God’s grace, filling me with the light of His Word.

Christians have been delivered from spiritual Egypt and justified by faith. However, we have not yet fully entered the kingdom of God. We remain in the wilderness, sanctified through love and suffering. Love is our life, and our entire existence is embedded in the mission of God. Mission is not merely the proclamation of the Word but the fulfillment of God’s salvific work. Thus, mission is not an isolated activity but the very essence of Christian life—a testimony to the Word itself.

My time at Drew Theological School marks a significant turning point in my spiritual journey. I arrived with great aspirations and dreams, but now I find myself immersed in the depth of Scripture, humbled and renewed by God’s transformative grace.