My brother’s family came from Korea this year to visit our aging mother, who grows more fragile with each passing year. Among them was my niece, who had been only five years old when our family immigrated to America. Now she is married and has brought along her ten-year-old son. Seeing them made me feel deeply the passing and transience of time.

As soon as my niece saw me, she said she had long wished to tell me how thankful she was to me all these years. She recalled how, when she was little, I used to bring her bananas, candies, and snacks whenever I came home in the evening. She said that as a child, she would rub her sleepy eyes and wait every night until she heard the sound of my footsteps at the door.

I could not remember any of this, but my niece, now thirty-seven, has carried those memories with gratitude all her life. Hearing this, I felt ashamed that I had lived so long without realizing the meaning of his gratitude. Once again, I was reminded that nothing shapes and softens human hearts like a “heart of gratitude.”

Indeed, what could be more beautiful than a grateful heart?

A person who lives with gratitude becomes like a flower blooming in the field, or like autumn leaves glowing in the warmth of a fire — their heart becomes fragrant and pure. Gratitude purifies the soul, frees it from blind desire for possession, and even drives away foolish thoughts. Especially when gratitude flows between people, old wounds and broken relationships are healed, and new beginnings arise.

In our family, there had long been one member who was the center of many problems — a heavy burden to everyone. Like a bundle of troubles we could neither carry nor discard, that person lived sometimes as one we ignored, sometimes resented, and sometimes simply forgot. Yet deep within my heart as a believer, I knew reconciliation and love were duties of faith.

Then one day, a sudden feeling of gratitude welled up — gratitude that this person was still alive. And through this thorn in my life, I realized that I was being refined, that my sense of responsibility and compassion for the world was being widened and deepened.

What was astonishing was that, within a heart of gratitude, the old wounds and burdens no longer existed. Gratitude became like a wise teacher — helping me rise from what was old, and giving me courage to begin anew. It also has a mysterious power to hold happiness close, even as it constantly slips away.

I now find gratitude and happiness woven everywhere — in the food on my table, in the brilliant colors of autumn leaves, in the brightness of the noon sun, and even in the soft purring of my sleepy cat who curls beside me while I type at my computer late at night. Within my family’s love, I discover that gratitude surrounds everything.

Yet, there is no moment more miserable than when gratitude disappears from a person’s heart. A community or individual without gratitude is always restless and wounded, constantly troubled by problems. Words and actions lose humility and restraint. When hardship comes, they cannot find a way through.

To give thanks even for small and simple things, to find meaning in suffering and pain within God’s providence — believing that His purpose for us is still unfolding — this is the true training of faith. And this, indeed, is the genuine heart of gratitude.

As I remember my niece’s “heart of gratitude” that endured through the years, I think of Christ who died for me. And I ask myself:

With what, and how, am I living each day with a heart of gratitude?

© Wan-Hee Yoon

(Pastoral Home Faith Column #6, LA Christian Today, November 10, 2010)