Daily Sauntering

Some time ago, a church member asked me this question:

“They say you must meet Jesus, but can’t I just believe without meeting Him? Honestly, I do believe in Jesus, but I’m afraid to meet Him!”

“Are you afraid?” I asked in return.

“It’s not so much that we find Jesus,” I replied, “but that He is always seeking us!”

I could understand her heart. Before I met Jesus myself, I too thought that meeting Him would somehow make my life less free. But when I finally met the Lord, I experienced the coming of springtime into my life.

Just a few weeks ago, I watched as a certain deaconess met the Lord and began living a new life. It reminded me once again that meeting Jesus in one’s lifetime is the most urgent and important matter—something that should never be postponed until tomorrow.

This woman, in her 30s, is the mother of three young boys aged two, three, and four, and serves as the accompanist for the church choir. Though she was always bright and cheerful, it was no easy task to care for her three small children, her mother-in-law, and still take the lead in accompanying worship on Sundays, Wednesdays, and at dawn prayer meetings. Not a single moment in her day allowed her to rest her mind.

Deep inside, though she appeared peaceful outwardly, her heart was splitting into a thousand pieces. She even began to suffer from worsening depression without realizing it. She secretly carried resentment toward her mother-in-law, often thinking, “If only she would go live with one of the other children…”

Her pastor, who had long been concerned for her weary soul and body, encouraged her—though knowing it would be a stretch—to attend a spiritual retreat. She hesitated greatly, worried about the children, but after much inner struggle, she decided to go. Just two days before the retreat, however, her mother-in-law slipped, injured her arm severely, and required surgery. To make matters worse, her non-believing mother called to strongly oppose her going, warning her with the words of a fortune-teller: “If you leave home and go far away, you’ll die.”

Though she had tried to share the gospel with her mother for years, every New Year her mother would visit a fortune-teller and share her predictions. Sometimes they were so accurate that the deaconess, without realizing it, began to rely on them. Now, fear gripped her: What will happen to my children if I die?

After much hesitation, prayer, and tears, she made a firm decision: “Even if I die, let me die in the Lord.” She entrusted her three children to a devout elder woman, arranged for her sister-in-law to care for her mother-in-law for three days, and went to the retreat.

There, God showed that even in situations beyond human control, He meets those who seek Him without giving up. The deaconess met Jesus and awoke from a deep spiritual sleep. With her soul filled with the Holy Spirit, the world appeared entirely different. She confessed:

“Every morning used to be a battle. I would scream to wake up my two older children still deep in sleep, sometimes hitting them, sometimes sending them off crying, and then spending the rest of the day miserable about it. But now I start my day with prayer, asking God to bless and protect each child. When I hug them and pray over them, they wake up happily—no struggle at all.

And something amazing happened: every word from my mother-in-law, which used to sound like nagging, now feels like precious advice I need. I realized she is the source of blessing in our home, and I began to see her as an angel.

That’s not all. In the evenings, my husband now spends time reading the Bible instead of hiding away in his room. I used to unload all my frustrations—about the kids not listening, the stress from my mother-in-law, and my feelings of being unappreciated—onto him. But now I see him as precious and admirable.

I also realized I was wrong to pressure my mother into believing in Jesus by arguing with her when she tried to stop me from going to church. As the Bible says, ‘The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love’ (Galatians 5:6). I learned that I must love and accept her with the love of Christ.”

Seeing her transformation, I prayed, “Lord, such a miracle can only come from You. Thank You! Thank You! You plow up a barren life and make it rich soil, bringing forth a bountiful harvest. Like the life-giving energy of spring breaking through the frozen ground, let streams of green hope and joy always flow into our thistle-covered lives. Keep us from settling in our present state, and help us always rise to seek new life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”